Monat: Dezember 2013

There is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is counted not from when they were born, nor from when they are conceived but from the day that the child was a thought in its mother’s mind. And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come. And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it.
And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child’s song to welcome it. And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.
The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.
And it goes this way through their life. In marriage, the songs are sung, together. And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing—for the last time—the song to that person.
You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.

„It reminds me of a time in Florida. Mrs. Erickson and I entered a restaurant, took a seat in a booth. A young couple came in with an eighteen month old child . . . our waitress got a high chair and tried to butter up that eighteen month old baby and he turned his face down. And the parents said knowingly, „Oh baby is very shy, very timid, won’t even look at strangers.“ The meal was served to the parents … I know what babies do. Pretty soon the baby started to look around. He looked in my direction and I ducked, and very quickly I ducked again. Pretty soon the baby and I were having a nice game of peek-a-boo. We lingered, and when the parents left the baby waved bye-bye to me. The parents nearly fell over. But you meet the patient at the patient’s level.“

A wife gets woken by her husband bearing coffee and croissants.
She says to him, „There’s nothing better than honey on my croissants in the morning. There are so many different varieties of honey, each, like wine, has it’s own character. Honey is definitely my favorite breakfast spread.
Then she says, „But honey is so unhealthy, all those little insects manufacturing it in unhygienic conditions, and it can be bad for your blood sugar, on second thoughts I loathe honey“
Her bemused husband replies, „You can’t have it both ways, you need to make up your mind.“
„I quite agree,“ she replies „And I will make up my mind which opinion I want to hold once I know if we have any honey in the kitchen“