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Blog Reviews Spirituality

Review: Tools of the Spirit

Tools of the Spirit: Pathways to the Realization of Universal Innocence
by Robert Dilts and Robert McDonald

 
Like so many books in the field of NLP, this one is written as the transcript of a workshop. Like several other books in this format, much could possibly have been gained by changing at least some of this transcript into simpler prose form. One rather negative review on amazon.com suggests that the two authors were too lazy to rewrite the transcript and also criticizes them for writing a book on spirituality when neither have any formal spiritual training.
Reading the negative review before reading the book definitely framed the book in the wrong light for me, right from the beginning, and I didn’t enjoy the first few chapters very much which include many details that are more relevant to the participants present at the workshop than the reader who didn’t attend. The use of the song, the Hokey Pokey, was also presumably more effective in the workshop than it appears on the written page!
In Chapter 2, Dilts introduces his Logical Levels model which will be familiar to most people involved in NLP (Environment, Behavior, Capabilities, Beliefs and Values, Identity, and Spirit). I have found this model to be extremely useful in my work with clients and for helping myself to get different perspectives on an issue. For the purposes of this book with its focus on Spirituality, the top level is the most interesting as it gives a rough definition of spirituality as defined by the authors:

Spiritual experiences relate to our perception of being part of a larger system that reaches beyond ourselves as individuals to our family, community, and global systems. Answer to the question who/what else?

This is a much more general definition of spirituality than might be found elsewhere. For example, the World English Dictionary gives the perhaps more traditional meaning of:

the state or quality of being dedicated to God, religion, or spiritual things or values, esp as contrasted with material or temporal ones

However, as is noted on Wikipedia, spirituality has now become much more widely used in secular contexts. Keeping this is mind allows us to push away the criticisms from the Amazon reviewer and to allow the book to present spirituality through its own map of the world, rather than imposing an outside one.
Before I move on from criticisms altogether, however, on page 22 of the book, the Logical Levels are labelled as “Neuro-Logical” Levels and it is claimed that “these various levels of our subjective experience are embodied in the form of neurological circuits. Each level mobilizes successively deeper and broader commitment of neurological ‘circuitry.’ For example, Environment is postulated to employ the peripheral nervous system, and Behaviors are postulated to employ the motor system. Identity is tied to the Immune system and endocrine system. This tying of bodily functions to the levels does not seem justifiable. Our everyday behaviours certainly do engage the immune system in various ways. It is an interesting set of ideas, but one that could perhaps have been researched more deeply and presented in a different book. While not being central at all to the theme of Tools of the Spirit, it does leave the book open to criticism by writers such as Andy Bradbury on his website and John Grinder in Whispering in the Wind.
Later in chapter 2, the Logical Levels are used for the basis of a process called Co-Alignment. This is a powerful process of sharing with another person at all of the levels. For example, at the Behavior level, the two people ask each other the question: “What do I want to do when I am in that time and space (shared enviroment)” and eventually at the Spirit level it leads to the question “What is the larger vision and purpose I am pursuing or representing?” Then, the two people explore the ways in which the two visions fit together and  taking the sharing vision, they walk back down the levels all the way to Environment. I have carried out this process and found it to be very rewarding and can recommend it for two people in a relationship or even for a company (where people can be encouraged to be open-minded for a little while at least!).
Chapter 4 introduces the Presence of Eternity process. This uses the concept of timelines to become present in the Now with another person, and then to extend that sense of time into eternity. It is certainly a useful exercise. The gazing into the other’s eyes and the holding of hands may put off some people, and the book should perhaps have mentioned that it is also a valuable exercise to do alone.
Chapter 5 uses the perceptual positions of NLP in the Spiritual Healing Process. I found Chapter 6 and Chapter 7 much more interesting, where Dilts and MacDonald introduce the  idea of ‘Shadow’ and in particular I liked Chapter 7 where they explain the Releasing Enmeshment with the Shadow process. In essence, it assumes that we are enmeshed with a shadow (e.g. anger, fear etc.) and that by visualizing the nature of that enmeshment, we can deal with it. For example, the shadow could be represented as a dragon with its teeth in our neck. In a slightly complicated process, the dragon is replaced by a more spiritually developed version of ourselves. Although this other version of ourselves starts out enmeshed to us in the same way (with sharp teeth!), these quickly change into a more positive connection. Rather than killing the poor dragon, he is given his own spiritually developed self and starts out with his teeth in that other self. In the same way, those teeth change into a more positive connection. If the process sounds a little crazy, it is … and it also produces powerful change at an unconscious level. Metaphors are very powerful things, indeed.
One thing that I liked in the book was the repeated suggestion that shadows are simply the absence of light – they only exist because light casts a shadow. And shadows can never completely disappear because the bigger the light, the larger the shadow it will throw.
Chapter 8 explains the Self-Parenting process which is probably most useful for people who have issues with one or both of their parents. A parent (or an archetype of a parent) is visualized in each hand. Each has a gift and the other parent is asked to recognize the value of the other’s gift. While expressing gratitude and forgiveness, these gifts are then synthesized and integrated back into the body. I enjoyed this process, and think that some people could find it extremely useful in dealing with parents from whom they feel alienated or distant.
Chapter 10 was my favourite chapter. The authors introduce the extremely versatile tool from Generative NLP and Dilts’ Unified Field Theory. I’ve shown the basic idea in the table below:

Future 3rd Future 1st Future 2nd
Present 3rd Present 1st Present 2nd
Past 3rd Past 1st Past 2nd

A grid of nine squares is used to represent time (past, present, and future on the vertical axis) and NLP perceptual positions (1st, 2nd, and 3rd on the horizontal axis). The center square on the grid represents 1st position present (looking out of your own eyes at the present moment). From this position, you step into all the other squares bringing a growing feeling of spiritual awareness, and from the timeframe and perceptual position of each square, you send a message to the you in the center. Eventually, you end up with 8 messages supporting you from different directions. Like most of the other processes in the book, it sounds crazy, but it works – and this one works very well indeed.

***

The book concludes with a sampling of readings and poems, all of which are enjoyable. I would recommend this book for people already familiar with NLP who want to extend the tools of NLP into the area of spiritual development.
 

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Blame It On the Watermelon

So I was enjoying my first watermelon of the season with my two boys today, and I realized that they had never had real watermelon, only the seedless variety. It hit me like a ton of bricks, a revelation if you will. All of today’s problems can be traced back to the invention of the seedless watermelon.
Now you may think this statement strange, or perhaps attribute it to the meanderings of a feeble mind. Nevertheless I assure you that the statement is correct. Be it terrorism, the plight of the homeless, the ever-widening rift between rich and poor, the seeming disappearance of family values, or something as mundane as rush hour traffic. All are directly attributable to the seedless watermelon. In fact, I challenge anyone to come up with a single modern day problem, social or otherwise, that isn’t directly related to the seedless watermelon phenomenon. Let me explain.
In the pre-seedless watermelon age, life was simpler. We would sit up on our sun decks, or in our backyards and enjoy a good old-fashioned slice of watermelon. We’d take our time, picking seeds out with a spoon, tongue, or even an old stick. Take a big juicy bite, and slowly, with intense concentration, tongue-wrangle all the seeds into that space between our teeth and our cheek, seeing who could hold the most. Basking in the full sticky sweetness on our lips and gums, the cool watery freshness in our mouth and throat. Then with glee we’d spit the seeds out. Machine gun style, like Al Pacino. Or perhaps Clint Eastwood style, one by one real deliberate-like. We’d take pride in our distance, or marksmanship, perhaps even holding competitions with friends or siblings. Occasionally war broke out and it was every man for himself. Afterward we could line the seeds up, or watch as they clung tenaciously to picnic bench or windowpane, betting on which would fall first. As we ate, our elders would tell tall tales of young boys who’d mistakenly swallowed the seeds, only to have their belly burst 3 months later as a vine grew inside him. Of course we didn’t believe the stories, but we’d double- and triple-check before we swallowed just the same. And we would enjoy the watermelon, and we would enjoy our friends and family, and we would enjoy the heat, the breeze, the day, idling away eating our watermelon. All this made possible because the seeds slowed down the moment. Because of those little black seeds we were forced to take our time, notice the details, and in the end, really enjoy the experience, the whole experience, not just the fruit. And sure, we’d curse and swear at the darn things and jokingly say, someday they’ll invent a watermelon without seeds, and everyone would laugh, knowing full well in our hearts that we loved the ritual perhaps even more than the fruit. Besides, a watermelon without seeds? Well that would be impossible…. little did we know.
And then someone, probably that kid in grade eight that no one liked, actually made it happen. And the watermelon lost it’s magic, and our lives lost meaning..
Now I can eat my watermelon so fast and with such ease that no concentration is required whatsoever. It’s so easy I can eat it while driving down the freeway. Why, I need not even taste it. How can we enjoy the fruits of our labour when it’s already washed pre-cut and even seeded!? I especially feel for the little ones, now they can eat their watermelon in 30 seconds flat and run on in to catch the next cartoon, in their air-conditioned townhouse. No more feeling the heat, enjoying the juices as they refresh the body and soul. No more listening to tales of burst bellies, of giggling over our own fears. No more arguments over who spat farthest, fastest or mostest. No more learning that good things take time and effort. The beautiful ritual has been reduced to a quick, efficient intake of vitamin C and vital fluids, then back to the everyday. No more magic. And herein lies all the problems of the modern day world. Bigger, better, faster, and right now. This is what our children learn from the seedless watermelon, and this has become the ethos of our world.
Bigger, better, faster and right now…….Bigger, better, faster and right now. We have no time for the unemployed or homeless looking to do some odds and ends in exchange for food. Bigger, better, faster and right now. No time to regale our children with tall tales, and anyway, the cartoon network can do it better, not to mention bigger, faster and at the immediate flick of a switch. Bigger, better, faster and right now. Why car-pool, bike or transit? That brand new SUV is bigger, better, faster, and at zero down and no payments for 90 days, we can have it right now!
We’ve lost sight of the details. We’ve lost the precious moments. We’ve lost the magic. We’ve lost our childhood, and our children may never have one. But hey, at least we don t have those darn black seeds in our watermelon! My point exactly.
We lost something when we lost those little black seeds. Perhaps it was nature’s way of counterbalancing the hectic pace of life, and now we’re the ones that are lost.
I blame it all on the seedless watermelon.

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Blog Hypnosis

Excellent Free Hypnosis Resources

The Internet is truly an amazing resource, and amidst all the hyperbolic marketing and dubious products, I am sometimes very pleasantly surprised by the quality resources that people make available free of charge. Here are two examples of great resources for learning and practicing hypnosis that are available free.
Rene A. Bastarache carries out hypnosis trainings, but also offers his massive training manual as a free download without any commitment. It is 446 pages long and contains great lessons as well as numerous basic scripts that will help get beginner hypnotists practicing right away.
http://www.choosehypnosis.com/free_hypnosis_training_manual.htm
Dylan Morgan offers a huge array of resources at his website. The most accessible book for beginners is his free book:Hypnosis for Beginners. I have used it as the course book for hypnosis workshops and it has excellent exercises and explanations. It is a much more exploratory approach than other courses-the learner is asked to test everything to see if it actually works rather than simply accepting the teacher’s ideas. I am very impressed by Dylan Morgan’s ideas and generosity and would have loved to have had the opportunity to meet him, but unfortunately he passed away earlier this year. Perhaps the greatest tribute that can be paid to him now is to download and use his books-that is why he made them available–the more widely the powerful ideas of hypnosis are spread, the more people can be helped to utilize hypnosis to improve their own lives and the lives of people around them.

http://www.hypno1.co.uk/BookHypnosisForBeginners.htm

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Blog Reviews

5 Ways to Listen Better

This post is based on the wonderful TED talk by Julian Treasure. Much of the text below is directly from the video. I heard about this talk on an NLP mailing list, and apart from its value in developing sensory acuity and rapport skills, it is also of interest to me in a university course that I teach called “Sound and Education Media.” For years, I have been teaching students about the value of listening and doing various exercises based on the work of Barry Truax and R Murray Schafer. I am delighted to see that some of this earlier work is being pursued and extended by people like Julian Treasure. Incidentally, Treasure’s use of language is excellent and from his words it sounds like he would be a fine hypnotist!

Treasure starts out by claiming that “We are losing our listening.” People retain just 25% of what we hear. Listening is the extracting of meaning from sound.
Techniques Used by the Brain
1. Pattern Recognition
We recognize patterns (e.g. our names) in order to distinguish noise from a signal.
2. Differencing
In the video, he gives the example of ‘pink noise’, If ‘pink noise’ is on for a few minutes, we literally cease to hear it. Pink noise is a type of artificially created regular noise which covers the entire spectrum of human hearing.
Filters
Treasure also talks about the other filters that we use at an unconscious level to listen to sounds. These include:

  • Culture
  • Language
  • Values
  • Beliefs
  • Attitudes
  • Expectations
  • Intentions

5 Ways to Listen Better
These are the five simple tools that I will be sharing with my university students in the second semester when it begins in October.
1. Silence
Just three minutes a day is a wonderful way to recalibrate your ears.
2. The Mixer
Identify how many channels of sound you can hear in a place. This improves the quality of listening.
3. Savoring
Listen to a mundane sound and recognize its beauty. For example, a clothes drier can have a waltz rhythm. ‘The hidden choir’ is around us all the time.
4. Listening Positions
Start to play with your listening filters. Here are some examples that you can start to play with:

  • active vs passive
  • reductive vs. expansive
  • critical vs. empathetic

5. An easy mnemonic to remember how to listen more effectively:
Receive (Listen to the person)
Appreciate (Make little backchannel sounds to show you appreciate it
Summarize
A
sk questions
Treasure reminds us that every human being needs to “listen consciously in order to live fully, connected in space and in time to the physical world around, connected in understanding to each other, not to mention spiritually connected …”
And I agree strongly with his conclusion that we need to teach listening in our schools as a skill. With the rise of technological background noise, personal music players, shrinking personal space in noisy cities, and a general overload of information, listening is an endangered art and one that needs attention.

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True story

There is a story about Thomas Watson Sr., the first president of IBM. A young worker had made a mistake that lost IBM one million dollars in business. She was called in to the president’s office, and as she walked in, she said: “Well, I guess you have called me here to fire me.” “Fire you?” Mr. Watson replied, “I just spent one million on your education!”